This weekend I actually had a lucid dream — a dream in which I knew that I was dreaming, and made some conscious decisions within the dream world to explore it. (See previous post on Lucid Dreaming for more info on what a lucid dream actually is.)
I said that I would post the results of the lucid dream, so here goes. Please bear in mind that most of this doesn’t even make sense to me, so I don’t expect it to make a ton of sense to you, my readers. It’s weird, but a promise is a promise.
My wife and I were in a motel. Not the fancy hotels like the Doubletree. No, this was a bit darker, and dirtier. Not quite “rent by the hour”, but not high-class by any stretch. She was laying next to me on the bed, just reading facebook via her phone as she’s very often known to do. I was laying in the bed, trying to get to sleep, purposing to be very still so that I could dream well. When I looked over at Cheryl again, she was eating cornbread and butter out of a bowl. (I told you it got weird… just wait.) I lay back and closed my eyes, when Moses (our dog who recently passed) jumped up onto the bed and wedged himself between us as he used to do. That’s when I realized I was dreaming. Moses was long-since gone. In that moment, I became “lucid.” It all made sense now. This was a dream world!
With Moses between us, I scratched his ears, musing at how soft his fur felt and how it smelled. This was, as far as my brain reported, Moses. I could feel his breath on my face as he nuzzled up against me. Then a previous dog I had owned was on the bed at the foot. My wife shook her head and remarked “How many more dogs will there be?” as she made her way into the bathroom to get ready for the day.
I laughed and played with both of them. “We’ll see who all shows up, I guess.” They were both so real, yet, I knew beyond all doubt that they were both gone and that this was simply a dream.
I looked toward the bathroom, remembering all of the things that I’ve been reading lately. Knowing that this was simply a dream, I could talk to the characters of the dream to get insight into what I actually think deep in my subconscious. This was a perfect time to do some intra-personal inspection. I got out of the bed and entered the bathroom. My wife was there, but she looked different. She was still the woman I married, but was a hotter, sleeker, sexier version. She was standing in front of a mirror, in her usual “mirror pose”, turned to the side, with her leg bent just at the knee.
I actually spoke out loud, “So, that must be how I see her in my mind.” As I drew closer to her, I remembered the warning I’d read just the day before. The warning said that if you are in a lucid state, don’t look into a mirror unless you REALLY want to see what you think of yourself. For some people, this is a very shocking, disturbing thing and they aren’t ready to handle it. I feel very secure in who I am, so I thought it might be interesting to see what I think of myself, so I turned to look directly into the mirror.
My wife still looked as she did before. But I stood next to her, two feet shorter (I’m about three inches taller than her in real life). My head was larger than normal, with thick neck muscles going straight down the sides to my shoulders, much like a Cardassian from Deep Space Nine but without the scales or awkward skin tone, and running straight down, not at an angle. The mirror-me was struggling and straining against the neck muscles until it finally resembled the real me a bit more and shape-shifted into a shorter-skinnier-more-awkward me. I remember staring at the image for some time, not alarmed or freaked out by the sight, but deeply curious. It didn’t’ stare back at me, or mimic my movements. It was as though I was now looking at a person in a glass box.
I woke to my own dream voice still bouncing in my brain, “Hmmmmm… so… that’s what I think of myself? Fascinating! Incredibly fascinating!”
Let it be said… I warned you it was weird.